My Waist:
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Christmas Obstacles - Revaluation Time
So I am in Week 9 of this 12 week plan and as I am approaching Christmas, I felt like I needed a little bit of a regroup. Don’t get me wrong, I am doing great on the plan, but I just wanted to refocus before the obstacles come my way. Before I started this plan, I was the heaviest I had ever been. I think there is a point in each of us where we say, “This has to stop here”. So I put on the brakes and buckled in and committed to “12 weeks for a better me”. So I am nearing the 20lb weight loss marker and 3.5 inches gone from my waist and I feel lighter and happier than I have been in a long time. Wow, in nine weeks I have unloaded almost 4 bags of flour. I don’t want to get complacent though and not finish the race or allow Christmas obstacles to hold me back. Also, somewhere in this program I realized this has to be a life change for me, not a diet to reach a magic number and then go back to old ways – only to watch the weight creep back up again.
Since mid October I have not touched a real slice of pizza. At this point, I know this is trigger food for me so better to not try at all. I only fell off the program once with a piece of my daughter Halloween candy about a week after Halloween (Butterfinger – to be exact) which led to a downward spiral week and a slight gain. I have to note here that eating that candy made me sick. The sugar hurt my stomach and turned me off of chocolate. In a warped way, I’m not too disappointed about that. Thanksgiving Day I was in control and allowed myself to indulge in a “taste” of my Dad’s homemade pumpkin pie and believe it or not – that was enough. I think I was the only one who did not go home feeling bloated & stuffed like a turkey (no pun intended). During these past nine weeks, I battled with my internal self to recognize emotional eating from actual hunger. I realized that years of Splenda did some “temporary” damage. This opened up my eyes to the real impact of foods. I learned to not walk through a supermarket aimlessly and without purpose. Ironically, I used to hate food shopping, now it has become like a game of seek and find, and there is a certain thrill into finding that “hidden gem” in an aisle that fits into my 5/2 count that I didn’t know existed.
Would I like to have lost more weight by now – sure. It’s funny because before I started this plan, I said, “If I could only lose 20lbs – it would be a start to my goal – it would be more than what I have been able to do on my own”. Now that I lost almost that weight, it gets you excited (maybe a little impatient) to think “well, what about another twenty?” and “if I reached my goal by the Springtime, I’ll actually have a Summer that I like what I look like in shorts – dare I say even a bathing suit”. I’m not sure if it is so much about impatience or it’s like a snowball effect – only this time I am snowballing in the right direction and for the right reasons.
Can I say that I will NEVER indulge in ANY foods that exceed my 5/2 count? No, but I can make the sacrifice till I reach my goal weight and be modest thereafter? Absolutely, I can – it is a small amount of time in the big picture of it all. I wasted much more time gaining the weight and feeling lousy about myself. There will be other Christmas’ that I can allow myself a “taste” of a gingerbread or in the summer walking on a boardwalk, I may enjoy one slice of “real” pizza, but I won’t go back to the way I was before. These holiday obstacles are just little “road bumps” that I made look like “large boulders”. I will not give them that much meaning in my life. The meaning of my life is in the people I have around me, and the time we share. You never know how much time you have with anyone – so Holidays are not about the foods you eat, but the memories you make. This year, I will be “present” in any pictures we take (just like at Thanksgiving – my halfway photo that I can actually say I liked). There will be no hiding because years from now – when I look back on this holiday, I can say to my daughter, “That was the year that Mommy took control of her life and when she made herself more important than the food around her.” “Look how happy we were and still are”!
Since mid October I have not touched a real slice of pizza. At this point, I know this is trigger food for me so better to not try at all. I only fell off the program once with a piece of my daughter Halloween candy about a week after Halloween (Butterfinger – to be exact) which led to a downward spiral week and a slight gain. I have to note here that eating that candy made me sick. The sugar hurt my stomach and turned me off of chocolate. In a warped way, I’m not too disappointed about that. Thanksgiving Day I was in control and allowed myself to indulge in a “taste” of my Dad’s homemade pumpkin pie and believe it or not – that was enough. I think I was the only one who did not go home feeling bloated & stuffed like a turkey (no pun intended). During these past nine weeks, I battled with my internal self to recognize emotional eating from actual hunger. I realized that years of Splenda did some “temporary” damage. This opened up my eyes to the real impact of foods. I learned to not walk through a supermarket aimlessly and without purpose. Ironically, I used to hate food shopping, now it has become like a game of seek and find, and there is a certain thrill into finding that “hidden gem” in an aisle that fits into my 5/2 count that I didn’t know existed.
Would I like to have lost more weight by now – sure. It’s funny because before I started this plan, I said, “If I could only lose 20lbs – it would be a start to my goal – it would be more than what I have been able to do on my own”. Now that I lost almost that weight, it gets you excited (maybe a little impatient) to think “well, what about another twenty?” and “if I reached my goal by the Springtime, I’ll actually have a Summer that I like what I look like in shorts – dare I say even a bathing suit”. I’m not sure if it is so much about impatience or it’s like a snowball effect – only this time I am snowballing in the right direction and for the right reasons.
Can I say that I will NEVER indulge in ANY foods that exceed my 5/2 count? No, but I can make the sacrifice till I reach my goal weight and be modest thereafter? Absolutely, I can – it is a small amount of time in the big picture of it all. I wasted much more time gaining the weight and feeling lousy about myself. There will be other Christmas’ that I can allow myself a “taste” of a gingerbread or in the summer walking on a boardwalk, I may enjoy one slice of “real” pizza, but I won’t go back to the way I was before. These holiday obstacles are just little “road bumps” that I made look like “large boulders”. I will not give them that much meaning in my life. The meaning of my life is in the people I have around me, and the time we share. You never know how much time you have with anyone – so Holidays are not about the foods you eat, but the memories you make. This year, I will be “present” in any pictures we take (just like at Thanksgiving – my halfway photo that I can actually say I liked). There will be no hiding because years from now – when I look back on this holiday, I can say to my daughter, “That was the year that Mommy took control of her life and when she made herself more important than the food around her.” “Look how happy we were and still are”!
Friday, December 11, 2009
Steps to a better me!
When I started this "meal plan", I knew that I was in need of a good reality check. So this plan could not have come at a better time. I needed to accept the size I was (size 14 - I can now admit that - now a 12), determine where I wanted to be, how I would get there and more importantly to get to a better place mentally and love who I was no matter what the size.
A few months back, I was making photo albums for my daughter of each year of her life and I realized that there were so few pictures of me in those memories. Six years have gone by and I was more comfortable behind the camera, but I was cutting myself right out of her memories. If I have learned anything recently with the failing health of both my parents - life is too short to cut yourself out. What was I teaching my daughter in the process?
I feel bad for those people who have negated the Belly Fat Cure because they felt it was "failing them". A diet is about lbs. - this is a meal plan to a better you - a healthier you. Health is not just about a scale its about taking ownership of your mind & body. I take ownership to the weight I've gained before this program (years of poor choices and misinformation), but I own the weight that I have lost on this program (13lbs and about 5 lbs. before the program) and to the weight that I could have lost if I didn't cheat during one of the weeks or a week I was too busy to log my food. Ultimately, it has to be about more than just some 4lb. marker for me. It has to be about this reality check that has led to a journey of sorts. This is a journey of steps - steps that one day the step is a weight loss (maybe even only a lb.), next step may be a success that prior to this plan I would have tumbled, and the next step is the fact that I can look at myself in the mirror and not cringe and think back to a time that I looked or felt better - because that time is now! Oh heck, Thanksgiving week - that step was the fact that I didn't gain anything at all - I didn't lose but I didn't gain either. I may not lose 4lbs a week, and I had years of misinformation so I could have perceived myself as unlucky because I needed to take probiotics and wait & be patient for a good week's results. But I don't think that way - I can't think that way. Jorge can't do this for me - I have to do this for the self I am today, and the self I want to be when I am old, and for my lil' girl. She is soooo proud of her Mommy! She has taken this journey with me, and I didn't even realize it! A week before I started this program, she had to use the word "big" in a sentence and she wrote - "My Mom is big". Ouch! Wow! Again, with the reality check! Now if I am laying on my stomach watching t.v. - she comes and puts her head on my bottom and asks "Why is your butt smaller - I can't use it as a pillow?" Oh yeah! Reality check! Write down your steps... you just may surprise yourself on how many steps you have climbed in such a short time!
A few months back, I was making photo albums for my daughter of each year of her life and I realized that there were so few pictures of me in those memories. Six years have gone by and I was more comfortable behind the camera, but I was cutting myself right out of her memories. If I have learned anything recently with the failing health of both my parents - life is too short to cut yourself out. What was I teaching my daughter in the process?
I feel bad for those people who have negated the Belly Fat Cure because they felt it was "failing them". A diet is about lbs. - this is a meal plan to a better you - a healthier you. Health is not just about a scale its about taking ownership of your mind & body. I take ownership to the weight I've gained before this program (years of poor choices and misinformation), but I own the weight that I have lost on this program (13lbs and about 5 lbs. before the program) and to the weight that I could have lost if I didn't cheat during one of the weeks or a week I was too busy to log my food. Ultimately, it has to be about more than just some 4lb. marker for me. It has to be about this reality check that has led to a journey of sorts. This is a journey of steps - steps that one day the step is a weight loss (maybe even only a lb.), next step may be a success that prior to this plan I would have tumbled, and the next step is the fact that I can look at myself in the mirror and not cringe and think back to a time that I looked or felt better - because that time is now! Oh heck, Thanksgiving week - that step was the fact that I didn't gain anything at all - I didn't lose but I didn't gain either. I may not lose 4lbs a week, and I had years of misinformation so I could have perceived myself as unlucky because I needed to take probiotics and wait & be patient for a good week's results. But I don't think that way - I can't think that way. Jorge can't do this for me - I have to do this for the self I am today, and the self I want to be when I am old, and for my lil' girl. She is soooo proud of her Mommy! She has taken this journey with me, and I didn't even realize it! A week before I started this program, she had to use the word "big" in a sentence and she wrote - "My Mom is big". Ouch! Wow! Again, with the reality check! Now if I am laying on my stomach watching t.v. - she comes and puts her head on my bottom and asks "Why is your butt smaller - I can't use it as a pillow?" Oh yeah! Reality check! Write down your steps... you just may surprise yourself on how many steps you have climbed in such a short time!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Weigh In Day - 12/7/09
Down 2.5 lbs.
Technically, I saw a decrease in my waist - maybe about another 1/2 inch, but not enough to account for.
7 more lbs till my next "Gift to Me".
My goal is to hopefully achieve this by Christmas!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
A Must See Video posted on Jorge Cruise's blog & the Unveiling of my next present to me!
http://jorgecruise.com/blog/2009/12/1/sugar-the-bitter-truth-watch-this-what-do-you-think.html
o.k. so let me begin by saying that the video is long, but WELLLLL worth watching. I played it in the background while I was on my computer doing other things. It really explains the premise and need for the BFC meal plan and why the plan works. It basically debunks the theory of counting calories. I'm not sure how Jorge finds all these videos and articles, but keep em coming. They seem to appear on his blog just when we need them most. The last couple of days have been "HIGH STRESS" at my work and home. I even had nightmares last night and I can't remember the last time I had a nightmare. Stress has a way of playing on the brain and focusing on this video and learning a thing or two - was just what I needed. Take the time out - watch the video - you won't regret it!
So on a side note, I have been racking my brain for what my next "gift to me' will be when I reach my next goal. Well last night at my daughter's cheerleading I heard the sound.... Ahhhhhhhhhhh (o.k. it sounded more heavenly in person than it does in print). One of the other Mom's had a perfume that I LOVED the smell of! Now to know me is to know that I rarely wear any perfume because - to put it mildly - they all tend to give me a headache. It has been a very longtime since one stopped me in my tracks. Actually, I used to have a favorite in college, but when you connect a bad memory to a scent (yeah - you don't need to know the story - too much info here) - you tend to not like the scent anymore. Away went my "signature scent". Well, I have tried many over the years but nothing stuck. No signature scent other than a clean soap smell here. Until now or I should say until the next goal is reached. So while I know you are waiting on pins and needles for the unveiling of the perfume's name - I will have you wait no longer - Issey Miyaki (can be found at Macy's, Sephora, etc... - I sound like a commercial). So what now - well, I am on a mission to find the best deal because no purchase can be made without coupons, promos or discounts. The rule is I can not buy until I reach my goal weight, but this is tangible and a must have before the Holidays! Stay tuned...
o.k. so let me begin by saying that the video is long, but WELLLLL worth watching. I played it in the background while I was on my computer doing other things. It really explains the premise and need for the BFC meal plan and why the plan works. It basically debunks the theory of counting calories. I'm not sure how Jorge finds all these videos and articles, but keep em coming. They seem to appear on his blog just when we need them most. The last couple of days have been "HIGH STRESS" at my work and home. I even had nightmares last night and I can't remember the last time I had a nightmare. Stress has a way of playing on the brain and focusing on this video and learning a thing or two - was just what I needed. Take the time out - watch the video - you won't regret it!
So on a side note, I have been racking my brain for what my next "gift to me' will be when I reach my next goal. Well last night at my daughter's cheerleading I heard the sound.... Ahhhhhhhhhhh (o.k. it sounded more heavenly in person than it does in print). One of the other Mom's had a perfume that I LOVED the smell of! Now to know me is to know that I rarely wear any perfume because - to put it mildly - they all tend to give me a headache. It has been a very longtime since one stopped me in my tracks. Actually, I used to have a favorite in college, but when you connect a bad memory to a scent (yeah - you don't need to know the story - too much info here) - you tend to not like the scent anymore. Away went my "signature scent". Well, I have tried many over the years but nothing stuck. No signature scent other than a clean soap smell here. Until now or I should say until the next goal is reached. So while I know you are waiting on pins and needles for the unveiling of the perfume's name - I will have you wait no longer - Issey Miyaki (can be found at Macy's, Sephora, etc... - I sound like a commercial). So what now - well, I am on a mission to find the best deal because no purchase can be made without coupons, promos or discounts. The rule is I can not buy until I reach my goal weight, but this is tangible and a must have before the Holidays! Stay tuned...
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